Wednesday, April 20, 2005

ClassiC DefinitionS & CooL MeaningS

1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage

5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..

9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.

10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

26. Father : A banker provided by nature.

27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails......

How Strange it is!!!!!

Isn't it strange ?

Isn't it strange how Rs. 20/=seems like such a largeamount whenyou donate it to temple, butsuch a small amountwhen you go shopping?

Isn't it strange how 2 hoursseem so long whenyou're at place of worship, and howshort they seem when you'rewatching a good movie?

Isn't it strange that you can'tfind a word to say whenyou're praying,but you have no troublethinking what to talk aboutwith a friend?

Isn't it strange how difficultand boring it is to readone chapter ofthe Bible/ Quran / Gita, but how easyit is to read 100 pages ofa popular novel?

Isn't it strange how everyonewants front-row-ticketsto concerts orgames, but they do whateveris possible to sit at the lastrow in a holy place?

Isn't it strange how we need toknow about an event fortemple 2-3weeks before the day so we caninclude it in our agenda, but we canadjust it for other events inthe last minute?

Isn't it strange how difficult itis to learn a fact aboutGod to share itwith others, but how easyit is to learn, understand,extend and repeat gossip?

Isn't it strange how webelieve everythingthat magazines and newspaperssay, but we question the words in theBible and other holy books?

Isn't it strange how everyonewants a place inheaven, but they don't wantto believe, do, or say anythingto get there?

Isn't it strange how we sendjokes in e-mailsand they are forwardedright away,but when we are going to sendmessages about God, we thinkabout it twice before we shareit with others?


~~No Female without Male!~~

WOMAN has MAN in it.
SHE has HE in it.

Mrs. has Mr. in it.
LADY has LAD in it.

MADAM has ADAM in it.

HOSTESS has HOST in it.
FEMALE has MALE in it..........and so on.....the listis unendingSO NO need to be proud ...The female species are always incomplete without the males...

Does GOD exist or not!!!

This is one of the best explanations of why God allows pain and suffering that I have seen. It's an explanation other people will understand.
A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation. They talked about so many things and various subjects.
When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: "I don't believe that God exists."
"Why do you say that?" asked the customer.
"Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving a God who would allow all of these things."
The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument. The barb er finished his job and the customer left the shop. Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt.
The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist."
"How can you say that?" asked the surp rised barber. "I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"
"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside."
"Ah, but barbers DO exist! What happens is, people do not come to me."
"Exactly!"- affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! What happens, is, people don't go to Him and do not look for Him. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."